My Dear Friend

One of my friends is going through a personal crisis. This article is dedicated to him.

Hello my friend. When we met for the first time, you introduced yourself with a flashing smile and welcomed me. I immediately felt a true human being residing within you.

During our interaction over the period of last few months, I felt that whatever I have sensed about you, you are exactly like that and to some extent, I am also like you.

Being your friend, I felt that there is a kind of hesitance or confusion inside you. I wanted to talk about that freely, so that you can think about it and work upon.

Last week, when you explained about your problems, the situation you going through over last 8 years and the way you have changed over this period of time, I felt shocked. I really felt sorry for you. At such young age, you are going through this phase and tackling this situation quite gracefully.

Taking such blows at such a young age, may have disappointed you. You may not have got the love and affection from your dear ones. But dear, this doesn’t mean that you are of no importance to anyone. Of course, your dear ones are with you, and they care about you. They are just not able to express it to you, because of some circumstances.

I think, you need to take charge of your family. Being, understanding and wise in nature, you can easily do it. Yes you CAN. Just think positive under any situation. Look at the brighter side of your life. If you can change that outlook to some extent, everything will look beautiful to you. Everything will look simpler. May be the time will teach you all these lessons. All you need to do is just stand firmly.

Do not allow negative thoughts taking charge of your life. Replace each bad though with the positive one. Please don’t try to escape from this situation. Don’t even think about that. That is the act of cowards. Live your life to the fullest. It’s not about the cards thrown at you; it’s about how well you play your hands around it.

I know, it’s easy to say and suggest all these things from a distance. But I think, being positive is the only one and the best way to come out of this crisis. You can learn a few techniques, read about great personalities, ask for suggestions from the people you trust and find a mentor. And above all, there is a hand of god on your back. This hand will guide you along your journey. Just believe in him and he will do the rest.

Every problem comes with some opportunity. There is always a flip side to every problem. And who knows, a brighter future may be waiting for you. Surely, there will be. This is just a delicate phase in your life and these days will pass over and better days will come.

Dear, you are a true human being and are special to this world. The whole world takes care of you. Don’t feel lonely. Just try to be more expressive. Remove all of your anger and frustration and try to open it in front of me or anyone you trust. This will make you relax.

Another kind suggestion, please don’t expect too much from others, this may sometimes disappoint you. Do not allow small arguments to spoil the great relationships.

I am a bit harsh and practical to say these things, but you can definitely think about this. And remember one thing, I am always with you.

Never.. Never.. Never.. Never.. GIVE UP. Realize the warrior within you.

My Father

Just came back from office and had dinner. I am alone at my home. My wife and our son have gone for the holiday. And I am terribly missing my son. Even though he will be away from me for a couple of weeks, I am so used with him that, every second I miss him. Especially when I am alone at home. As a father, it’s a natural thing that you are missing your dear ones.

At the same time, I thought about my father. How he must be feeling when all of his children stay away from him? Wouldn’t he be feeling lonely?

About my father, If anybody asks me about who my role model is, its obviously my father. I would like to share a few things about him. Some of the things are quite personal, but I do not hesitate to share as he has already inspired hundreds of lives.

My father is a well educated farmer. He is now sixty years old. I have five elder sisters and a younger brother. He has spent his life in shaping up his children.

He is very good looking man. Very good physique, Fair skin, straight nose, eyes reflecting confidence. I am sure a lot of girls must have a crush on him in his younger days. J

During his school and college days, he was excellent in studies and sports. He wanted to study more and more, but my grand father had other plans. According to him, studying was a waste of time; instead he wanted my father to help him in his agriculture farm. He forced my father to stop the studies.

My father got married at the age of 19 and my mother was 18 years old then. These kind of things were happening in old India, as there was no law to avoid marriages at such a small age. In the next 2 years, my grand father and my uncle (Father’s younger brother) passed away in an accident.

My eldest sister was few months old then. Just imagine the situation. At the age of 21 he had a child; whole responsibility of home came on his shoulders. He had to take care of his ailing mother, a younger brother and a sister and my mother.

For next 10 years, he struggled for everything, sometimes even for food. He was working in his farm day and night. He did all possible experimentation in agriculture. He started to implement drip irrigation almost 30 years back. He started to take the crops like sugar cane, water melons, banana, rice, etc for the first time in the region.
He got lot of appreciation from people, experts and government also.

But whatever he experimented, he failed at least 75% of the time. But he never gave up and continued his quest for exploring new things. But still our financial situation was very delicate. We struggled for mere bread and rice. Sometimes we slept empty stomach.

But my dad kept all of us very happy, he taught us to dream big. He nurtured our belief system and taught us the importance of politeness, positivity and working hard.

During my childhood, there was no electricity connection at my home. I used to study under the light of a Kerosene lamp. I am 30 years old now, and for the first 15 years of my life, I could not even wear a Slipper. I used to go barefoot until my high school days were finished. I got first pair of foot wear, when I got admitted to college. But we never complained about it. My dad taught me to believe in my abilities and told me that it’s just a matter of time to turn the things around.

He was looking his unfulfilled dreams in us. He wanted us to take best possible education. I still remember, when I took admission for Bachelors, the yearly expense was around 60000 rupees. And my family’s annual income was 30000 rupees. (Half of my yearly expenses). But my dad told me to concentrate on studies and he will take care of everything else. One day, I expressed my wish for a computer, as I was a bit inclined towards softwares in spite of my Mechanical Engineering background. Within few days, my dad sent 35000 Rs to buy a computer.

He is very simple in his attire. A white shirt, white pyjama and Gandhi topi. Typical attire used by farmers in India. He never had more than two pairs of cloths. His philosophy is to use the cloths until it is worn out. But he is very rich in his principles, his thinking style, his way of tackling the problems, his views about current affairs.

He is the ocean of wisdom. He is a vivid reader. He has collection of more than thousands of books ranging from spirituality, autobiographies of great personalities, and innovations in agriculture to philosophical books. These books helped him to come out of his personal crisis.

I have never seen my dad criticising anybody or thinking bad about anyone. During his young days, he was active in politics. But most of the times he was used by other people for their purposes. My dad still used to forgive them and forget everything. One day I had a heated conversation with him regarding the people who used to misbehave with him. Dad smiled and calmly said “I am giving whatever I have, they are doing the same thing”.

Dad had few weaknesses as well. He was very angry in his behaviour and obsessive while doing the things. During my childhood, I had a fearful respect towards him. Anything I wanted to communicate to him was conveyed through my mother. But over the years, we could sense that he has changed a lot. Since last 10 years he has inclined towards spirituality, turned vegetarian and taking care of his health. He has become much calmer and fitter now. Rather he can easily defeat me in a wrestling macth.

Nowadays, I am quite settled and doing well in my life. My dad never appreciates me in my front. But his eyes reflect everything. It reflects a sense of pride, fulfilment and satisfaction. According to him, becoming a good human being is more important than becoming successful.

Whenever, I am confused or got up in some personal/professional problem, most of the time I visualize how dad would have tackled that problem. Sometimes, I ask him for the help, and he gives me best possible advice.

Since my childhood, I have leaned a few fundamental principles from my father. These are:

Believe in your abilities.
Never get disturbed because of obstacles.
God throws challenges to those who have the ability to overcome it
Follow your heart in case of confusion.
Take care of the things which are in our control and leave the rest to almighty. He will take care of us.
If you are good at others, you are best for yourself.
Innovate. Keep experimenting.
Build the habit of reading.
Be true to yourself. You cannot fool your soul.
Keep Dreaming

A final word to my dad, you are the best person met in my life. I will try to follow your way throughout my life. You have given so much more to me than I expected. Now it’s my turn to give back to you. Now, I proudly say that I have 3 children. First one is 60 years old (Father), second one is 59 years old (Mother) and third one is 2 years old. (My son)

I too had a love story

Just finished reading with this book “I too had a love story” written by “Raviner Singh”. The book is about the story of a young couple (Ravin and Khushi) , who were in relationship. They came closer through ä matrimonial website and started interacting over internet and phone.

The book proceeds with how they fall in love without actually looking each other. They were immensely dipped in love and were taking utmost care of the bond. They had built an intimate connection and felt that they cannot live without one another. Their parents agreed upon and their engagement date was fixed.

A day before engagement, the girl, Khushi met an accident while returning from office. The story tells about how Ravin was helpless and wanted his dearest one to come back from the jaws of death. But the god has other plans. Khushi could not survive from that accident.

I felt this story quite touching. The writer has been true with his emotions, connects the reader well. And at the end of the reading, you will actually feel sorry about the end of such serene relationship. All the great relationships do not have perfect endings.

The Quest For Nothing

Just finished with reading of the book, “The Quest For Nothing”, written by Anurag Anand. This book is about the story of a young corporate executive couple Akash and Deepali.

Both were working for their respective careers. They were over ambitious and were putting their best in their jobs.

As a result of their dedication towards work, their careers were going very smooth and everything was falling in place. But one important thing was missing in their life. The charm in the relationship. They were married for few years, but their relationship was spoiling because of lack time shared together, possessiveness and the ego.

As a couple, they were taking care of each other and attached with each other. But for them career path seemed more important than the married life.

In between, Akash got a better job offer and shifted to another city. Now they started living separately in different cities. For Akash, the marriage became a kind of agreement to spend life with each other. Although, Deepali used to take more initiative in maintaining the balance in their married life.

Along the path, Akash got carried away with a few stupid decisions, which led him into a career threatening corporate scam. Here again, Deepali came to Akash’s help and got him out the crisis. Then the couple realised how important the married life is and corrected their decisions by prioritizing the tasks in their life.

This book proved a kind of eye opener to me. Rather for our generation. Our young generation is becoming over ambitious, never satisfied with the career, always complaining about the professional life. They try to push themselves hard and in doing so they compromise upon the fundamental values in life. They compromise upon relationships, cannot give enough time to each other and their dear ones. They do not take much care about the health, gets easily carried away with so called 21st century trends, fads and lifestyles.

I am not of the opinion that, one should not be over ambitious. Of course, we should ambitions, we should have goals. That way only, will help us to achieve the things we desire. But in doing so there should be a balance between personal life and professional life. If any of it disturbs, our overall life gets disturbed.

The Guy in the Glass

Written by by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

My favourite Managers

I have spent most of my professional life in Geometric Ltd. During this tenure, I have worked with some wonderful colleagues. As far as Managers are considered, I am fortunate that I have worked with some of the very special ones. I like these guys because they are Technical managers and more important than that, these guys are very good human beings.
By term “Technical Manager”, I meant that these guys have spent most of their career span in doing Technical things. I am not making any statement that only Technical Managers are my favourites, but I am more inclined towards Technology rather than the management side.
Coming back to my favourite Managers, Their names are:

Parimal Nagarnaik
Santosh Kotnis
Yogesh Bhintade
Sudarshan Shubakar
Rashpal Singh

Parimal Nagarnaik:

I don’t know whether Parimal remembers me by this time or not. Parimal was the first manager to whom I reported in my IT career. At the first sight, he looked a bit reserved and quite serious.
Parimal was heading an ODC for one of the toughest client in the Nordic region. When he took over this team, he religiously worked on streamlining the things and setting up the processes. He was a bit obsessive with the Processes in particular.

Parimal is a very good human being. He gives special attention to each of his sub-ordinates, listens to them very carefully and knows very well how to get the best out of his team. For me he looked like a person, kind of more emotional than Professional. He is more inclined towards Technology than the Management ladder. Currently, he heads GSDS dept in Geometric.

Santosh Kotnis:

Santosh was the most energetic Manager I have seen ever. When I met him for the first time, he looked very fit, confident and cheerful in nature. He was talking in US ascent. J (Probably he was returned from US recently)

Santosh’s strength is communication and interaction with the people. He connects with people within no time and builds a good rapport with them. He is a vivid reader and so am I. We used to talk always about the latest book we were reading. Santosh was very particular about his diet and was very health cautious. But I could not sense a single gram of his weight reduced in my 3 years of interaction with him. (This is just to provoke SantoshJ)

Santosh is a natural leader. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he becomes CEO of a company in near future.

Yogesh Bhintade:

When I met Yogesh for the first time, I just could not believe that he has more than 10 years of experience looking at his baby like face. J He took over the team during the turbulent time of recession and things were not the ideal one.
Like Parimal, Yoegsh is a Techie and as a resource you cannot fool these guys. They know almost every Technology and they will surely give a valuable idea when you are not able to proceed with any Software Design related issue.
Yogesh is also very obsessive with laying down the processes and sometimes will irritate you because of constant emphasis on the SDLC. He is a strong character and will definitely reach to top Management ladder within a few years from now.

Sudarshan Shubakar:

Sudarshan is my reporting Manager in the current company. Sudarshan is a bit serious character but is a great human being. He is so down to earth and will respect everyone’s opinion. He will accept their feedback if it is valid and delicately convince them to his opinion if it is invalid.
I have worked with Sudarshan since last 10 months and watched his working style closely. We are currently working on a mission critical project for a giant company in US. I have never seen him loosing his temper during this time.
Sudarshan knows how to get the best out of his resource. Has the ability to give the negative feedback in a very effective manner. He is a great ambassador for the community of Managers. J
Rashpal Singh:

Rashpal was not my manger as such, but was my mentor. We worked together quite for some time at a customer site in Singapore. Rashpal is a very efficient Technical person and has a great skill to convince the people, in particular the end user of the software.
During that period, I was a going through a personal crisis and was not happy with myself. I wanted to return and join my family back in India. But those were recession days and there was a big chance of getting fired after return. Rashpal discussed with me and this Sardar told me one thing In Hindi which I will remember for lifetime.

“Ägar life mein kuch accha hota hai to jyda khush mat hona aur kuch bura hota hai to jyada dukhi mat hona”, meaning In life, if something good happens with you, don’t be too happy and if Something bad happens with you, don’t be too sad.

I recovered myself after this conversation and completed my assignment within the stipulated time frame with very good quality and my efforts were really appreciated by the customer. This assignment was the turning point of my career, which gave me immense confidence and satisfaction.

Ready for the battle, but with few doubts in mind

Last night, my son was sleeping peacefully. A mosquito started wondering around him. Within a flash, my wife got a piece of paper and killed the mosquito. I was looking at this incident from some distance and started reflecting.
As a mother, she may not wanted to disturb her son’s sleep or may not wanted to infect her child because of mosquito bite. Hence, she justified the killing of that creature.
The same thing can be applied to our life. We can apply the same principle so that we can get rid of infectious thoughts/habits which can ruin our life. We should have the wisdom to remove the unwanted things from our mind. (Which otherwise can cause harm to it)
I can remember a few lines from the book “Like The Flowing River” by Paulo Coelho, which are as following:
“God, give us the strength to cultivate the garden of our thoughts and give us the courage to get rid of unwanted weeds (Bad thoughts) which can cause harm to